Bentley has a hard time sharing certain toys even when he's in good health, being in poor health made the situation much worse. Both Genevieve and Jackson took a good deal of gentle abuse from their sibling. Bentley took a good deal of gentle correction from his parents and grandparents. It was a difficult time for everyone.
This past weekend I went online and researched topics such as sharing and disciplining and toddler hitting. Here is what I learned.
Sharing is not something that most two year olds are good at. It's not until after their third birthday that most children learn to share gracefully. (It's going to be a looooooong year.)
Hitting is a very common problem for two year olds. They lack impulse control. The suggested remedies include putting away favorite toys when friends come over to play. (Does this mean we store away all favored toys for the next eleven months?) Monitoring your child closely. (Every minute he's with the twins?!) Or my favorite piece of advice--give up the play group. (Yup, give the twins away. This play group thing isn't working out.)
Another site I visited recommended time outs. You firmly tell your toddler hitting is wrong and then put them in time out (one minute for each year of age). This is the method we'd been using. So far it doesn't appear to have much effect on Bentley's behavior. The article said that consistency and patience are the keys to success.
Although the thesaurus doesn't back me up on this, I think stubbornness is a valid synonym for patience. So it really comes down to who is more stubborn--the two year old or the parents?
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The above photo was taken during a lull in the hostilities last week. (Should you accept food from the fingertips of someone who was puking just a few hours ago? We tell the toddler to share and then we get upset with him when he does.)
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