Boys & Cars

What is it with boys and toy cars? Bentley has been an avid fan of anything with wheels for a long, long time. As soon as he could move (crawl and then walk) toys with wheels were a top pick for him. Jake is just like his older brother.

Viva couldn't care less. Sure, she might pick up a car, but keep it? race it? fight over it? Why? (She has been known to hold tightly onto a toy car, if her brothers are trying to take it from her, but not because it's a car.)

Jake and Bentley love Match Box cars. You know those little cars for age three and up? (Yeah, we know the kids aren't three yet.) When the twins were younger, we told Bentley not to let the twins play with them. This caused a problem when Jake was old enough to get around and find the cars wherever Bentley had stashed them. Bentley was then told to share with Jake. It took a while, but now he's pretty good about sharing the cars with Jake.

Now the problem is convincing Jake to share with Bentley. Jake loves those little cars. He gathers them up and hoards them. He gets furious if Bentley or Viva try to take one. Sometimes just looking at them will set him off. No joke!

One afternoon Kara was laughing at me (or was it Jake she was laughing at?) when I stole a car from Jake to give to Bentley. First I distracted Jake and then I quickly grabbed one of the cars. Jake was very suspicious, but he hadn't seen the theft so he gave me a distrustful look and played on happily enough. (Perhaps his mom's snickering is what clued him to that fact that something improper had occurred.)

He and Bentley both like to fill up the dump truck with the smaller cars. What could be finer than a vehicle filled with vehicles?




Huh? What is Viva doing playing with boy toys? Very odd. It's only minutes until she's tackled by her twin, that's for sure. Maybe that's the reason I seldom see her with toy cars and trucks. Who wants to be knocked down over a dump truck? (Another boy!)

Did you know that most planes have wheels?! Even if they didn't, they'd still be a hit with the boys because planes move fast--and these planes have room in them to store toy cars!

Book Mangler

Even before Bentley was born the family (mom, dad, I, & Grandma Vicki to be exact) started purchasing books for his library. By the time he was a year old the libraries (at his house and at our house) contained over 100 books, by his second birthday that number had doubled, and by his third birthday I'm sure the number of children's books will top 300. Can you have too many books?!

Bentley spends time reading with any adult he can corral. At bedtime he tries to sneak as many books into the bedtime pile as possible. (I tell him three, but he pretends that he doesn't know how many three is. I think he does. He knows it's the number after two and not the number closest to ten.)

Bentley has always treated his books well. Even as an infant he wasn't given to chewing on them. He just instinctively knew that was inappropriate. I thought his good habits with books were because of our example to him.

Turns out I was wrong. Viva, who has also had our good example to show her the correct way to treat books, is a book defiler. She folds the front and back cover together and then sits on the book--to ensure the spine is broken. She carefully inspects the outside for any rips and then attacks at the weak spot. She mangles pages. She has even bent the thick pages in board books! There is no limit to what she will do to a book.

As I struggle to understand this horrific behavior I have come up with this explanation. She is a kinesthetic learner. She isn't interested in the visual appeal of a children's book. She isn't interested in the audio delight of being read to. She wants to play with the book--to manipulate it, to bend it, rip it, tear it, chew it, and just plain experience it physically. To her a book is a toy and she enjoys seeing how it moves.

So, the big question is--should I let her enjoy books in her own way? Should I turn a blind eye to her destructive ways or should I try to teach her to love books for the words and images, not for their play potential?

Despite my tendency to overindulge my grandchildren, I'm thinking that some lines need to be drawn and maintained. If Viva wants to play with something, there are plenty of toys in the toy bins. Books are for reading.

Twice As Old

Today, November 18, 2008, Bentley is twice as old as the twins. Or put another way, the twins are the same age as Bentley was when they were born. He was 511 days old on their birth date. Now he is 1022 days old and Jake and Viva are 511 days old. Where has the time gone?!

It's a Tuesday which is the same day of the week that all three munchkins were born. Aren't these fascinating facts?

I would, of course, post photos of this great event, but the grandbabies are in Mexico and so not within reach of my camera guy. Hopefully their parents will take a great photo of the trio today that we can add to this post at a later date.

The Bruiser

Jake is our toddler that always looks like he has lost a fight, a fight with the wall or corner or floor or toy or sibling. He's not clumsy, but he takes an awful lot of falls. Sometimes he is helped along by Bentley, but more often he has encounters without outside assistance. OUCH!

Perhaps part of the problem is that he bruises easily? For sure his fine white skin highlights his bruises beautifully. When he was into the doctor's office this week (for a suspected ear infection), the doctor asked Kara how long he'd been walking. Kara was startled by the question because at sixteen and half months, Jake has been walking for four months. Turns out it was the bruised forehead that led the doctor to conclude that Jake was a newbie walker. Jake, Jake, Jake! Do we need to buy you a helmet?


If you look carefully at the above photo, there are at least three fading bruises on his forehead under his hair. (His new, shorter haircut showcases his forehead even better than before. Great.)

Tough Enough to be a Big Brother

Sometimes being the big brother isn't always what it is cracked up to be. For starters, Bentley not only has two siblings, but he has twin siblings and he is only two years old!



Despite the the challenge of two, he puts up a good effort to play the role. Bentley loves to play with cars, and while usually somewhat possessive of his toys, he will occasionally play with both Viva and Jake at the play table, whether his siblings want his company or not:





He will also roll around on the floor with his siblings and keep them entertained with his antics and cheerful disposition:





Even though his play activities frequently involve running around, he is content to try out more sedate play time activities -- like playing with Viva's doll (despite Viva's protests):



Bentley also has shared his fascination with train videos on the Internet with his younger brother, all the while trying to teach Jake to watch and learn how to control the computer:



Bentley is tough enough to handle the role of big brother.

Tantrum Queen

Viva can throw a mighty fine tantrum. She throws herself onto the floor (she chooses carpet, if it's close by) and then she arches her back and kicks her feet and really gets into it. She's loud and mad and--this is important when throwing a good tantrum--she sticks to her guns. Or as her mother says, she stays in the zone. If you try and comfort her, she pushes you away and carries on loudly.

Yes, Viva is good at tantrums.

Jake...well, he prefers to be held and cuddled and is much too easily pacified to throw a good tantrum. He can shriek pretty well and sometimes continues to do so even after you pick him up, but he doesn't ever try to push you away. That boy likes to be held.

Not Tough Enough To Be a Twin

It takes a special person to be a twin. No wimps need apply. You have to be willing and able to wait your turn from the get go. From the moment of your birth you are negotiating with your twin as to who goes first, who goes second. Sometimes you can do things together, but often one has to be in the lead.

This is not always the position to take, I might add. When I was nine I insisted on going down the sledding hill first and I ended up with two cracked wrists. To this day I think about how my life would have been different if I had let my twin go first. (She insists that my handwriting has never been as good since the accident. Because I broke both wrists, I didn't even benefit by becoming ambidextrous. It was a lousy decision I made that day.)

Well, back to the present... I was thinking about twinship recently when I was spending time with Bentley. I realized that he was not tough enough to be a twin. He's too impatient, he loathes sharing, and he insists on being first all the time. This is pretty much what you'd expect from a first born male. It is not behavior that works well for twins.

Jake and Viva are always waiting their turn. They know that even when they're first they will spend time waiting while number two is being helped. It's how life works for twins. Twins are models of patience. Just ask Jake's mom...well, ask Viva's mom. Jake, while a great twin, is still perfecting some of the twinly attributes. (Is learning to shriek loudly when you want to be first a necessary twin trait?)

Fun in the Sun

We're on our way warm Mexico! Don't worry, the blog will continue to have new posts, courtesy of Grandma. Stay tuned for pictures of sun & sand & cute kids when we get home in one week.

I've been busy checking out pictures online so that we will have the fortitude to make it through the 3 flights there (Anchorage -> Seattle, Seattle -> L.A., L.A -> Puerto Vallarta). Yikes!

So, with that said, here's a preview of what awaits us if we survive the plane trips, wish us luck...

Firstly, as Bentley calls it, "a playground in the water":



The lazy river:



Some views from the rooms:




We'll be back with pictures of us on location!

Jake's First Haircut

Jake had his first haircut today. He is almost 16 1/2 months old, so he was overdue according to his mother. His opa and I thought Jake was perfect just as he was.

Before (six days ago):


Now:


Do you think he looks older or younger with his new haircut?

Bentley had his first haircut just after his first birthday. Kara wanted to cut it much earlier, but we begged her not to. We, like with Jake, thought he was perfect just as he was.

Some days he looked like a Raphael cherub (incredibly adorable):


Other days he look like Elvis in his last years (not so fine):


After his first haircut he looked soooo cute:



His mom was right. He did need a haircut much earlier than we allowed. He was even more adorable with his hair trimmed--we just didn't think that was possible. We were concerned about messing with perfection. It just doesn't sound like a good idea, does it?

A First for Bentley, Too

Bentley did not have his first haircut yesterday, but he did have his first nontraumatic haircut!

For whatever reason, Bentley has hated (until yesterday) getting his haircut. He found the experience very disturbing. Kara was lucky to have a friend, Natalie, who does haircuts in her home. The woman has nerves of steel. It's incredible what she can put up while still giving a good cut.

For the first few haircuts Kara tried bribing Bentley with chocolate chips or even M&Ms. That worked to distract him for a few haircuts, but after a year or so, he refused the chocolate. He didn't want to be distracted. He felt the need to pay close attention to the lady with the scissors. Needless to say haircuts started stretching further and further apart.

Yesterday, before Kara went to Natalie's for the boys' haircuts, she asked Bentley to be nice to Natalie. And he was. It was that simple. Right--a number of factors had to come together first. The moon was almost full, it was a military holiday, and (most importantly) Jake came along to share the trauma. Share? Heck, Jake was the sacrificial lamb. Bentley suggested to his mom that Jake go first. That's what brothers are for.

Viva Avoids the Scissors

What about Viva you are probably thinking? Now that girl needs a haircut (much more than her twin):


Unfortunately, she's a girl, so we can't (won't!) go for a boy cut and therefore the only thing we can do is let her hair grow longer. Eventually it will be long enough to push behind her ears and keep out of her eyes. Kara puts barrettes in Viva's hair to keep it out of her eyes, but Viva (or Jake sometimes) pulls them out.

Triple Trouble

Do you have any idea how much trouble three little toddlers can get into?

At home they like to throw their balls through the banister and down to the entryway below. Dozens and dozens of balls. They are much better at tossing them than they are at cleaning up the chaos. It's easier to collect all the balls yourself than to have them involved in the cleanup. If you don't keep a tight grip on the toy bin at all times, Jake or Bentley will turn the bin over. You'll have to chase after all those rolling balls--again. They think it's fun. I don't.


At our home they like to turn the light switches on and off. On our lower staircase there is a switch at the top and another one at the bottom of the stairs. This means that the boys can work as a team to burn out the light bulbs even quicker. Again, they think it's great fun. Opa doesn't.


A few weeks ago I showed Bentley how the release button on the recliner couches work. If you lift it up, the seat reclines. Pretty cool. I then explained to him that we couldn't do it when the twins were around because they might get hurt crawling under the opened recliner. He was good about this instruction for a couple of weeks, but then he not only opened the recliner when they were around, but he taught them how to do it themselves. Who would have thought a sixteen month old could do it? Opa and Mommy were not amused.


Sometimes the triple trouble combination isn't the twins and Bentley, but grandma and the twins. One of the games that I like to play with Jake (in particular) and Viva (sometimes) is to lift them up high and let them play with the crystals on the chandelier. Kara doesn't approve at all.

We Love Toast

For months now Mark and I have been hearing that one of Bentley's favorite foods is toast. He asks for it every Sunday evening when his dad takes him and the twins to visit Grandpa Tim & Grandma Karen. Not only does he love toast, but he likes it dry. Yummy! (Not!)

Yesterday evening Matt didn't take the kids to visit the grandparents because they are out of town. Bentley must have realized it was a Sunday, though, because he requested toast for dinner when his mom offered him noodles.

Toast was served to all three children (Jake and Viva had eaten other foods earlier for dinner, but not Bentley) and as you will see, they all LOVED it.

Bentley, Grandma & A Fall Festival

I sent Bentley out with his Grandma yesterday to check out a local toddler fall craft festival. We gave it a try last year, and I figured this year Bentley might "get" a little more out of it!  It was nap time for the twins so they had to stay home, but that's okay.  They're still a little young to always play nicely with others in public. 

Anyway, Grandma was convinced to brave the cold and head out for adventure time with Mr. B.  They watched a magician show, checked out some vendor booths, and Bentley participated in multiple (yes, more than one!) craft activities.  Wow!

Bentley made me some blue bath salts, he supervised Grandma's construction of 2 necklaces for his siblings, and he put together a lovely bracelet that he is still sporting (with his pajamas now, mind you - and he already asked if he can take it to bed).  He even has a cool sun tattoo from the event.  Lucky kid!

Bentley showing the twins his bracelet, after handing out the necklaces to them:

Showing off his bracelet and stamp:

Green It Is!

Recently Kara told me that Jake insists on the green bottle when he's given milk. He refuses pink, purple, blue and red bottles. He wants green.

On their next evening visit I verified this color preference. I heated up bottles for the threesome. I had a green, a red, and a purple bottle. I held out the purple bottle and Jake shunned it. He stepped back wanting no part of it. The same thing happened when I held out the red bottle. He held firm for the bottle with the green screw band.

The following night when I was at Kara's I decided to do an experiment. She has bottles with lids in different shades of blue-green. I filled up three bottles and put a pastel green, a turquoise, and a teal lid on them. I heated them up in the microwave and by the time they were warm enough I had a crowd at my feet waiting for the bottles.

Bentley asked for the green bottle, so I gave it to him. (Jake can't speak clearly yet so he was at a distinct disadvantage.) I gave Viva the turquoise bottle and then handed Jake the teal one. He took it willingly and shoved it in his mouth. Okay, I thought, green/teal he doesn't care.

Then he saw that Bentley had the pastel green bottle and he started protesting. He kept sucking on the teal bottle, but he made it clear he was UNHAPPY. He wanted the green bottle that his brother had possession of. Fortunately there was a second green band, so I switched the teal for the green and averted a wrestling match

GREEN IT IS!

Below is an older photo from before the green period.


(Last night Matt heated up three bottles, none of which were green. Jake was okay with a blue bottle. His preference only surfaces if the green is in sight.)

Time Out

What's a grandparent to do when a grandchild insists on misbehaving? Sometimes I'm required to participate in the nonsensical practice of time outs.

Kara has decreed that when Bentley is put in time out at their home he should be placed on the other side of the baby gate. The reasoning is that he will be despondent over being separated from the fun. (Prior to this he was put in the back room (office), but he always played when sent there.) It is true that he puts on a very impressive act of being heart broken when he is exiled to the Other Side of the Gate. He wails and sobs (no tears) and makes sure that everyone in the house knows he is unhappy.

Let me give you an example of how a time out works. Tuesday night while I was at his home he was having a very hard time sharing his little cars. He refused to let his brother have a single one. He has over twelve of them, so sharing one or two is not an outrageous request.

I tried to work with him to help him see his way to letting his brother have just one vehicle. He was not willing to work with me. I told him that if he attacked his brother and reclaimed the single car that Jake had, then he would have to go into time out and that I would give ALL the little cars and trucks to Jake.

He thought about my edict for about a half a second and then attacked Jake. *sigh* I promptly (like any strict disciplinarian...wait, I'm the indulgent grandparent...well, I had to keep my word) put him in time out on the other side of the gate. He proceeded to assault our ears with his cries of outrage. I dutifully ignored him as did his mother.


Viva could not handle the sounds of distress. She found his blanket and took it to him. Then she climbed on the gate and shook it as if to say "Bro, I'm here for you!". Next she collected a couple of the little cars and took them to him. Soon Jake was taking vehicles to him, too.

The time out was a total wash. Again.

Oh no, no, no

please say it ain't so
the children react
to Election Day woe

A prescient Jake on the eve before the big day:


Bentley reacting as we watch the results roll in on election day:

Homedics PM-QUAD

Does your household own one of these?

The kidlets love this hand held massager. When turned on it lights up, vibrates, and makes a humming noise. So much fun in one little package!

Viva likes to chew on it and use it to stimulate hair growth.




Jake likes to turn it on and off.


Bentley likes to put it on the rim of the play table. (I thought I had a photo of that, but the photo meister says no.) The twins like to place it on the hard wood floor and let it vibrate itself to a new location. Truly, this toy is hours of entertainment.

And, if your creativity lags, you can always use it for its intended purpose--massages. I believe Kara originally gave it to Matt as a Christmas present. Bentley will sometimes give his father massages with it.

If your toy box doesn't include a Homedics PM-QUAD, think about purchasing one next time you're placing an order at amazon.com. They're only $10.

P.S. If you have more than one child, you might think about purchasing one for each child so they don't have to fight for possession of it.

Biters Anonymous

I'm not sure we've blogged much about J***'s tendency to bite. It's not something you want to advertise. Who wants to schedule a play date with a biter? Although, to give J*** credit, I don't believe he's ever placed his pearly whites on someone outside the family. And, don't forget that he doesn't have many pearly whites--although that is changing. His 8th tooth finally appeared. For the longest time he only had six teeth and those weren't even lined up. He had his two middle upper and one on the top right (his right) and then his two middle lower and one on the bottom left. Very odd. They were very cute teeth, to be sure, but not a matched set.

But back to the biting...when J*** gets frustrated he will try to take a bite out of the offending party. He's not a very dedicated biter, though, and seldom clamps down. It's more of a slobbery kiss than a bite. Well, he does bite, but it's a big bite and not a closed tooth bite. (Except for that time in the quilt store when he fell and bit his own lip and there was lots of blood and a big gash right under his lip where he still has a scar.)

Another odd thing about his biting is that he often goes for the chest or stomach or whatever is closest to his mouth. He doesn't go for open skin usually. Maybe he doesn't want to worry about germs? All-in-all his biting hasn't been a big problem and I think he's been doing less of it--so don't cancel those play dates!

V*** has been a little lady and hasn't shown any tendency to bite until recently when she was provoked beyond her control. She did it in defense of her twin. This is a motive that I totally understand. If you are lucky enough to have a twin, you need to defend them from bullies.

Who was the bully?! Need you ask? Or is this another family secret that we've discreetly left out of the family blog? Have we failed to mention that B****** continues to shove the twins down at random times? Sometimes he has just cause (which doesn't mean it's okay), but other times it truly is for no reason at all. He just gives them a shove when he walks by.

The other day he did this to J***. V*** had had enough. She rushed over and attacked B****** giving him a good, hard bite on the arm. He got the message. Well...he was upset. He has pushed the twins since then, so maybe he didn't quite get the message? Maybe we need to post the photo below on the fridge as a reminder of what happens to little boys who shove their brothers.

Stress Relief

The past two and half weeks have been very stressful for me. When I need to escape from troubling thoughts and difficult decisions, I head over to visit Jake, Viva, & Bentley. They are always a delight.


(Their parents claim that the trio can be stress inducing at times--HUH?!)