Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Worry Time

J has been having some serious issues with anxiety/worrying the past few months. To put it simply, he thinks too much on some topics and gets himself very stressed. I bought a book on worrying and read it with the three older children and it did help, but the problem is still very much ongoing. One of the suggestions in the book is that you have a daily worry time and when you find yourself getting anxious, you firmly tell yourself that you will deal with the problem during worry time.

Kara, I, B, J, and V sit down during worry time and air our worries. J's current biggest worry is that he will be too tired to make it through karate class. Kara has checked with the doctor and he does not have anemia or other exhaustion related illnesses. J has never been unable to finish karate class because he is too tired. Nonetheless, he is convinced this WILL be a problem and when it comes time to go to karate sometimes he has a meltdown. None of the adults in the household have been able to talk him through this problem. (We learned in our worry book that the more you talk about it, the more the worry grows. We've really cut back on talking about J's worries with him.)

B has two main worries. First that the adults in his life will not get him to karate on time. (For the past two years he has diligently tried to herd us out the door on his schedule!) His other big worry is that a natural disaster will occur. He hates the high winds that occasionally buffet our home. He worries about earthquakes. He stresses about a meteor taking out the planet in ten years. (I'm not sure where he heard that one, but it's hard to reason with him on the topic.) He is very concerned about the fact that the sun will die in 5 billion years. He refuses to watch astronomy shows with his father because he finds them far too stressful.

Viva has no worries. Seriously! During worry time Viva cannot come up with a single worry--big or little. I don't think it's because she can't articulate her worries, I think she really doesn't worry. If only she could share that ability with her brothers! In the meantime Kara and I will continue to work with J and B to help them learn how to manage their worries. (Our worry is that we won't find a solution to J's worrying, but I'm just going to shove that thought aside until our next assigned worry time.)

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